This has been on my mind the past couple days--I still feel the need to get it out.
Most of you may remember my friend Jim. Some of you won't-no biggie. Just know that we've been friends for years--we've been through good stuff and bad stuff and embarrassing stuff and if we both weren't so awesome there's no way our friendship would've survived.
A few months ago (I think? I'm bad with dates) Jim got engaged. It was surprising because I didn't realize he and R were at that place, but yay for them. You may also remember that R and I do not get along. I don't hate her, nothing like that. I think we're just different enough that we'll never get along and I have a hunch that she harbors some bad feelings towards me from events that happened before she and Jim got together. But I'm trying to keep this short(-ish).
While hanging out with Emmie last Friday, she mentioned getting an invitation to the wedding. I had not received one yet and I was starting to think that my guess was right. After checking my mail again, still with no invitation, I decided to see if Mike & Rachel had received theirs yet... and they had. So I'm almost completely sure that I haven't been invited to my friend's wedding.
My feelings are really hurt, but at the same time part of me understands. R doesn't like me, why would she want me there? But then immediately after that: I thought Jim and I were good enough friends that I would be invited-or at least that he'd fight for me. I almost wish that Jim could've just told me in person that I wasn't invited; I think I could've handled that a lot better. You always hear people say 'it's her wedding, do whatever she wants...' so there's that side of me that gets it. I go back and forth on feeling super upset to saying 'bottom line: I didn't get invited to a party. i can deal with that.'
And of course, there's a part of me that is holding on to the hope that maybe my invitation is still in the mail.
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